‘Harper will be part of our family forever’, Rebecca Adlington says ‘heartbreak’ of miscarriage has been ‘overwhelming’ | 8L51023 | 2024-05-01 20:08:01
'Harper will be part of our family forever', Rebecca Adlington says 'heartbreak' of miscarriage has been 'overwhelming' | 8L51023 | 2024-05-01 20:08:01
BECOMING pregnant for the first time completely changed me – it softened me and brought out a maternal side I didn't know I had.
I always thought I was going to end up being "bad cop," as I was used to the discipline of training and competing. But everyone says I'm the soft one.
I had my daughter Summer, now eight [with ex-husband Harry Needs], three years after retiring from swimming, and I was so excited for this new chapter.
Of course, being a swimmer, I really wanted a water birth, but when I went into labour the umbilical cord was wrapped around Summer's leg, so I had to get out of the birthing pool to be assessed – and then she arrived!
My second pregnancy [with husband Andy Parsons, 34] was very different as it was during lockdown.
Andy wasn't allowed at lots of the midwife appointments, which felt isolating.
My biggest worry was that he wouldn't be allowed at the birth either, but thankfully he was, and everything was fine.
Our son Albie, who will be three in March, was born within an hour of us arriving at the hospital.
Co-parenting Summer with Harry since our split at the beginning of 2016 works out really well. She is with me most of the time, because Harry lives further away.
I'm a very organised person, which helps, and we have great communication. Also, it's nice for Summer to know that when she's seeing her dad, that's "Dad Time".
Summer and Albie both love to swim – Summer started lessons when she was only three weeks old! It's just for pleasure at the moment, so I'm not sure about them following in my footsteps yet.
Summer doesn't want to compete, so racing isn't for her right now, but she may change her mind as she gets older.
I find mum guilt quite difficult. I work full-time with my swim business, and I want my children to see how much I love my job.
I want them to know how rewarding work can be if you find something to do that you love.
One of the most wonderful and life-affirming things about being a parent is seeing the kids' relationships develop with wider family.
I have two sisters who each have two children, and we're always passing around toys, clothes and baby equipment, but the best thing is seeing the bond between the cousins when they're together.
Although I have found such joy in motherhood, the last few months have been the toughest of my life.
Last year, Andy and I were excited to be expecting again, but we were devastated at the 20-week scan when it was discovered there was no heartbeat.
Our daughter Harper was born sleeping on October 20. The shock and heartbreak have been overwhelming. We don't know why it happened and we may never know.
With my pregnancy already public knowledge, sharing our heartbreak has been very difficult.
However, we've had so much support and kindness, and people sharing their stories has meant the world to me. It's pulled me through.
Telling the kids was very hard. Albie doesn't really understand, but he has asked questions. Summer has found it more difficult.
We've been as honest as we can, but because we don't know why it's happened, we can't fully explain it.
We've just tried to be there for her and to talk about Harper. Andy has been my absolute rock.
I couldn't have got through it without him.
We are focused on keeping everything as normal as possible for Summer and Albie. I say to Andy at least once, if not twice, a week: "Isn't it mad that there are little humans upstairs that I grew in my body?"
It's just absolutely incredible and Andy and I love being parents. It is just the greatest thing ever. Of course, it is tiring and it's a massive responsibility, but I would never change it for the world.
And Harper will be part of our family forever. She will always be our daughter.
Find out more about bespoke swimming classes for children aged 0-11 years old at Swim.co.uk.
More >> https://ift.tt/vJ95Uqm Source: MAG NEWS
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